Contents

Preface……………………………………………………….........................................................……………………..xi 

Introduction: Joanie………………..........................................................…………………………….…….1  

     What is Soothing……………………………………………………............................................……10   


                                PART ONE: Beginnings 


Luck………………………………………………………………………….............................................................……..17  

     Ancient Beginnings: Blue and Red………………..............................……….……….20  

     Recent Beginnings: Bulahhead…………………………..……….....................................24 

Talking: A Mini Memoir……….........…………………………..……….....................................….…..27  

     Ray………………………………………………………….........................................................……………....…..27  

     The Missionary…................................................………………………………………………………….29  

     The Performer…….................................................…………………………………………………….....30  

     The Reformer…….................................................………………………………………………………….31   

     Sid…………………………………………………………….............................................................……………....37  

     Dr. Bill Boardman……………..............................................……………………………………………42  

     Westward Bound: UCLA……….........................................……………………………………….43  

     I Can Do This!..........................................................................................................................46  

     Who Am I Kidding…….............................................………………………………..…………………47  

     Dan………………………………………………………………..........................................................……..………49  

     My First Wider View……………............................................……………………………………….52 

More Beginnings………….....................................................…………………………………………………..54 

Learn to Be Afraid………………..............................................…………………………………………....…56 

     The Train with the Giant Red Light: Four Years Old….......................56 

     The Dynamite Cap: Five Years Old…………………………...................................….57 

Learning to Hope………………………………………………………......................................................…..58  

     The Thermometer: Six Years Old……………...................................……………………..58  

     The Orange Crates: Eight Years Old…………………..............................…………...59  

     Grandma’s Lap….………......……………...........................................……………………………………..61 

Searching for the True Self……….............................................……………………………………….65  

     Mommy, Daddy, and Me Once Again…………...............................………………...68 

     My Helen Keller Moment: Discovering Abstraction…........................…..73  

     Discovering the Moving Goalpost Sydrome…………..............................……….81 

Escape to Baseball………………………………………………………….....................................................…86  

     Living the Dream…………………………………………….……….................................................…….87  

     The Golden Years………………………………………….……………….................................................89   

     The Perfect Game………………………………………………….....................................................…..90 

     The Long Road to Freedom…………………………………….............................................….92   



                                  PART TWO: Practicing 


Learning about Psychotherapy………………………..............................…………………………..…99  

     “This Fruud Guy” and The Psychopathology of Everyday Life…...99  

     Dr. Florene Young and Toys Out the Window……………................…………..102   

     Dr. Rick Ward and the Fish-Tank Kid………….....................…………………………...104 

What Makes a Psychotherapy Work, or Not…………………….....................…………107  

     Model Scenes Can Tell the Story……………………………………………..........................107  

          Lindsay and Me……………………………………………………….....................................……….109  

Getting Well with Empathy: Dr. Kohut and Adolf Hitler………..................…112  

     Getting Well with Creativity, Insight, and Initiative:  

     Remembering Joanie……………………………………………….……….....................................…….116  

     Rigidity: Michael and “Better the Devil You Know”….............….………....125  

     Paranoia: Kimberly and Her Nervous Therapist….….............………………..127 

What Doesn’t Happen in the Therapist’s Office……………..…...................……….134  

     Wagons in the Front Yard…................................…………………………………………..……….135  

     When Sarah Started Talking Again…….......................……………………………..…….138  

     Westward Bound……….........................................……………………………………………………………143 

     Dr. Young, Once Again: Darlene’s Story…….....................………………….…………144 

The Parent Training Clinic: An Alternative to  

     Psychoanalytic Child Therapy……………………..…………………..............................…..….149  

     Getting Started: From Outpatient Psychiatry to Navajoland….....149  

     The Parent Training Clinic’s Greatest Challenge and  

     Discovery……................................................…………………………………………………………………………155  

     You Can Go Home Again…………….................................………………………………………….161 

Private Practice………………..................................…………………………………………..……....……..........…163  

     DR. MILLER! Honeymooning in Maui……………….......................…….……………….165  

     David: A Professional Tragedy………..............................……………………….……..……….167  

     Lynda, Who Taught Me How to Do Therapy………..................…………...…….173  

     Andrew: The Joke Killewr with a Rifle on the Roof……................……..……182  

     Nobody Doesn’t Have Scoldophobia: Sarah’s Story…………...............…..190  

     Gone! How Charlie Stopped Counting and Started Living…........….206  

     Getting Rinaldo and Ted to Sleep………….............……………...........………...……….…216  

     Rinaldo: Sleeping with Hypnosis……...................................…………………..………….…216  

          Ted: Sleeping with “Nothing” and “Four Sleepy   

               Questions” ………………………………................................…………….............……………….221  

     Ava: The Manic Defense and the Capacity to Be Alone.....................230 

     Monica: Protecting the True Self at All Cost……….…….......................…….….244   


                     

                          PART THREE: The Mockingbird 


Searching for Integration and the True Self……………………...…........................……257  

     The Potato Digger……........................…….................…………………….………………………..……..260  

     The Bagpipe Professor………..............…………….…………………...………….....................………264  

     The Whole Oleander…………………........................…………………………….....................……….268  

     The Mockingbird…….............................................………………………………………………….………..271   


Acknowledgments………………………………………...............................................……….……....……………273 

Index…………………………………………………....................................………………...……....…….....................……..275